1) Experience Violent chocolate pudding craving.
2) Go on midnight pudding run in strange town.
3) Discover there is no pre-made pudding.
4) Buy milk, pudding mix & Lactaid pills so you can eat whole milk.
4A)…because FUCK SOY MILK I AM TIRED OF NOT HAVING THE REAL STUFF YOU BASTARD COLON!!
5) Silently rustle around Host’s kitchen.
6) Put the milk in the freezer because the box says make sure the milk is COLD and capital letters are SERIOUS.
7) Whip the FUCK out of that shit…beat it like a masochistic redheaded stepchild who owes you money.
8) Wait for an hour for that shit to set TIGHT.
9) Obtain triple serving.
19) Eat it with a huge soup spoon.
11) Cry Genuine Tears because It Is The Most Beautiful Food.