Blog
“Dear TheDominantGuy…” an open letter.
Hey, TheDominantGuy. Yeah this is kinda cheezy, the open letter thing but you know I’m cheezy like that, and this is kinda important to share, I think. I had an epiphany today. Yes another, but it is OK. I have been Epiphany Free for a few weeks now, and I’m overdue. I was thinking about…
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Why racism can be hilarious.
So once upon a time, I saw someone use a racial epithet I’d never seen before. I posted about it on FetLife, and on Twitter. I learned a new racist epithet! Wanna poke one of the Native Peoples of North America in the eye?You can call ’em “Prairie Spooks!” #EvilLOL Someone replied about how dumbass that…
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Reality Chex: choke down a bowl, won’t you?
Reality Chex: the worlds coldest cereal. Now with enough fiber to stop up a blue whale! Yep, I hate ’em. Well, I hate them and I need them. Those moments when you come off of the people mover of floaty, high wonderful (e)motion and sail, face first, into the brick wall of “reality.†I…
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The messenger.
Travel Days are their own disorienting haze and yesterday’s was particularly brutal what with a 5 hour time change and an 80° temperature differential. Aruba to Dublin? Nice work if you can get it. On the second leg of my trip, JFK –> DUB, I was worn a bit thin, but I was wearing the…
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Bedbugs suck.
I was pillaged in Amsterdam at a hostel. Winter of 2005. I looked like this from the neck down. And while you can buy opium, mushrooms and ganja in Amsterdam, you know what you CANNOT buy? Yep. Antihistamines.
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My fat black ass.
Despite having no lack of photos of myself in compromising positions, every time I do a fetish shoot, or one where I’m gonna have my big old butt in the wind, I become a bit apprehensive. Yeah yeah fat is flabulous etc. But like anyone, I can be a little self-conscious when it comes to…
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Manifesting miracles.
When I was three, I went to see the Broadway revival of Hair. As we were dancing in the aisles at the end, and day-glo body painted naked hippies were slipping out of stage traps I turned to my Dad and said “I’m going to do that, too. I want to be on the stage.”…
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A “Thank you!” and a “Bugger off!”
Dear concerned friends: Every once in a while, I will share my life, my journey, my thoughts and fears and shit with someone on a personal level who has known me for some time. Maybe for years in the Leather / BDSM community. Perhaps from outside of the community. Or a friend I’ve known…
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Capitalize this.
Capitalization’s a tricky thing. What gets caps and what does not when it comes to titles and people we have to address outside of their given names? The shit’s Byzantine, man. (I grabbed this from some grammar site where there was discussion about when pronouns are capitalized.) Names of relationships only when…
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How he does it.
“How does he dominate you?†I was a bit taken aback by the question, indeed by the entire situation. I was in Los Angeles, on an extremely raw, wet and chilly Friday night. I was making an appearance on an internet radio show with a panel of folks that consisted of myself, two other kinky…
Read More“The Lily’s Revenge:” a sweet victory.
Performer types know how nerve-wracking it can be to wait to hear about a role. Imagine my torture for three months waiting to hear back about a part in a show! I can now safely share the amazing & stunning development on which  I’ve awaited The Word since September and only today put pen to paper for…
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LALA Land, Redux!
I’m returning to my former stomping grounds of Los Angeles Today, and doing some fun stuff, some of which you can even watch! On Saturday November 27th, at 10:30 PM PST I’ll be on The Dr. Suzy Show On Monday, November 29th, at 8:00 PM PST, I’ll be on the Rev Mel Show. If you…
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Polyamory Weekly: The Monogamous Chick & The magic Banana.
My homegirl CunningMinx was gracious enough to welcome me to her lovely home while I was in Seattle a couple of weeks ago.  Since she is the Princess of Poly, and as we were dishing on my recent foray into the realm of polyamorous relationships courtesey of The Dominant Guy, she suggested I come on in as…
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1344.
Random celebration! Nah, its not any particular milestone. I was just thinking about the past few years and remembering this and that. Pondering how much has shifted, and what remains true. Today is my one thousand, three hundred and forty-fourth day sober. The day I walked into rehab was one of the worst of my…
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On his time.
The Dominant Guy nudged me a few days ago about writing something. This immediately popped to the fore, but the past few days have been too thick with Things to focus on it. Thankfully the short hop from SeaTac to SFO cleared me enough to get this out. SO, here’sfor you, sir. Sometimes…
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38,000 feet. And falling.
Not particular in thought tonight. Up here on Delta flight 34. Newark to Amsterdam. I’m in 27F Just spilling. Let us see what evolves… There’s a tidal emotional pull I’m feeling of late, and I’d love to ascribe it to coincidence, hormones, projection, conjecture, hysteria or a psychic break. But I don’t think it is…
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e[lust] #21
Welcome to e[lust] – Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #22? Start with the rules, check out the schedule and subscribe to…
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On living.
I was chatting with a friend this evening about how I simply cannot view films with realistic depictions of violence, because I have physical reactions to them. She has a similar “thing,†and has been that way most of her life. I think mine spiked when I first began exploring BDSM. I KNEW, then, what…
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Can you hear me now?
I’d eagerly answered my phone when I heard his ringtone, smiling at the image of him looking all badass in the teeny icon on my screen. Â We had spoken extensively earlier in the day, as I’d been waiting for my train to SF from LA, and then for the opening movement of my trip up…
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Rope & Ash: photography by Michele Serchuk.
I can’t say enough about how much I admire Michele Serchuk’s work. A creator of iconic photography, she has shitloads of photos that every kinkster & pervert has seen so often they become almost ubiquitous as benchmarks for kink, fetish and BDSM. So when she offered me the opportunity to work with her, I squeaked…
Read MoreVancouver Explosion! November 5th ~ 7th 2010
Via Nubian Imp Productions, I’m gonna be Teaching Classes! Signing Books! Performing 69Stories: One Pervert’s Tale! IN CANADIA, BITCHES!! YES yes I know it is Canada I just like saying Canadia because they’re Canadians and I enjoy deliberate, provovative misappropriation of shit. I can’t tell you how excited to make my VERY FIRST trip to visit Canada in…
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The Right Question
When I speak about BDSM practices, one of my core assertions about the difference between WIITWD (“What It Is That we Doâ€) and abuse is intent. The person who verbally humiliates their partner to gain control and erode the self-esteem of the other, or the spouse who beats and harms their significant other, using violence…
Read MoreMonogamy as Mindfuck…?
You can find it here and though the title “How to trick your brain into liking sex with only one person.” was initially bemusing, I think the advice for creating lasting pair-bonding is interesting regardless of relationship configuration(s). This especially resonated for me: The good news is that the ancient mammalian brain is also home to…
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