Jul 202013

Picking RIGHT up where Episode 9A chopped off…this is the third section of a six-part series on transparency. Vulcan approaches to coping with emotional surges, feelings and how personal transparency helps PE work. J.P. comes so…close…to making a broad sweeping statement (gasp!) on the crude nature of using emotional obfuscation as s tool for control.  Riffing on the awesomeness of submitting to a whole human, warts, flaws and all rather than erecting iconoclastic archetypes.

Radical Honesty…how does that relate to transparency? And when is it cruel? And when is it preferable to redirect that potentially harsh energy into a kinder, gentler approach? Continue reading »

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Jul 192013

J.P. SelfieShave that pussy! Will Coco wind up nekkid? Will we reveal the Super Seekrit Mysteries of why dominants who don’t read as domineering, extroverted Alphas maybe have additional hurdles to o’erleap?  How do you submit to a “mere human” when you might be drawn to a hot archetype? And how the hell did J.P. Get five slaves to hang from the ceiling and fan him?

This is the second slice of 6ix pieces on transparency…Mo selfie with heffalump

We talk about introverted dominance, and how that trait might be a challenge when finding yourself in the broader Kink/Leather/BDSM Confederacies. Manifesting who you are doesn’t have to be dependant on assuming a role, just manifesting yourself. Continue reading »

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Jul 172013
Pay no attention to the dominant behind the curtain.

Pay no attention to the dominant behind the curtain.

Transparency, fools! Why do we not see so much of it from dominant types? How important is it in d/s and M/S relationships? When is the hunter more vulnerable than the hunted and who is hunting who in the first place? And more importantly. JUST HOW SWEATY IS JP?!? All this and more in the first-of-six installments on transparency in kink! Continue reading »

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Jul 162013


I’ve started podcasting, and so far it has been pretty awesome! A handful of chats with the Superfly (for a white guy) J.P. Robichaud, and a couple from me, and it seems some folks are digging it! You can see the episodes I have up thus far here:  http://www.mollena.com/category/podcast/ and please feel free to click on the link to the left and subscribe in iTunes!

Right now, I have 30 minutes to git ‘er done. And, as an early adopter, I already have the equivalent of a paid account, in that I have a half hour’s worth of sandbox time. HOWEVER… It would be AWESOME to have more time, and you can either do that by paying for it or you can rope people into signing up to AudioBoo and accrue extra recording time that way! Here is where you come in!

If you have a minute to buy me a minute, I’d sure appreciate it. Please DM me your e-mail address on Twitter, or message me it on FB, or use the mail link to the right o’er here on my blog! Send me your e-mail address, I will send you an invite, and once you get my invitation to join me on AudioBoo, accept it! AND if 30 people take a few moments to do it, I’ll be able to podcast for a whole hour, and that would be so badass!


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Jul 082013


Yep, the Angry Uterus is on a hormonal rampage. So, In an effort to hold off on crying myself to sleep with a fistful of cake in one hand and my overheated vibrator in the other, I tossed it out there that I’d answer questions from Twitter & FB.

Usually, this never works but tonight, it did!



And so, I go on for a little bit…
Continue reading »

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Jul 082013

I NEED DIS SAMMITCH!!Sex, Kink, Sexuality,  what does it all meeeeean?!? Brainnoms again with J.P. Robichaud and we try to hash out sexual satiation vs. erotic satiation. Aaaand…have moderate success with that.  On eroticising sammitches…and on Coco The Cat’s refusal to bring sammitches. Why SMs are pretty much The Shit and how much it translates preeeety damn flawlessly to BDSM.  And how I suspect that pretty much all Stage Managers are a bit kinky. Continue reading »

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Jul 042013

dan savage

How excitin! The conversation continues as we talk about my recent stint on the Savage Lovecast!  We bring in a question that wasn’t included in my Q & A from Dan Savage

What is up with sexual satiation vs. erotic satiation? And how about  sexual sammitch making, bro? And we also riff on god-mikes and SM for SMers. That’s Stage Managers for the uninitiated, and yes being ito SM and being an SM is super hilarious. Continue reading »

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Jul 022013

In this bonusy episode, a per-recording tangent lead me to hit record! We talk about education amongst the Confederacy of Kinksters…about the need for more kink-identified folks to be therapists for us,  why we hear about how tops should bottom but we rarely hear about how bottoms should benefit from topping, and how awesome it is to watch training videos of cops being tazed!

Continue reading »

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Jun 252013

Yep, got him to say “Negress” and errythang.

I have been reading Dan Savage’s ponderings on sex and relationships since back in High School when we used to run to get the Village Voice, flip to the back, scan his column and gleefully read aloud each letter that opened with“Hey Faggot…” the reclamation of that term was radical for a whole lot of us who found ourselves on the poky end of society’s sticks.

Fancy my delight when I was able to send him the book than Lee and I wrote, since I knew that he, in the past, had lamented the lack of a “How To” guide for perverts.

Fast forward to…well, a couple of weeks ago when I squeeked aloud upon receiving an e-mail from his producer indicating he wanted me to be on his podcast!

You can buy it here http://www.savagelovecast.com/episodes/348#.UcnJHPn…

Yep, it costs $.99 but hopefully you can get it!

And if you want to listen to me for FREE, please subscribe to my brand spanking new podcast, Conversations With The Perverted Negress

On iTunes (there’s also a link to the right!) or on AudioBoo!

And if you have a question you’d like to have tackled by my and my SuperUber Twue Dominate Podcasty Ed MacMahon, aka J.P. aaka ControlEnthusiast (but don’t call him that, ’cause its just weird, yo.) please drop me a note…just click on the little envelopish button over there on the right…with the subject like PODCAST QUESTION!


Now….to force myself to listen to me talk…

Jun 242013

Oh, the longing...the hunger...

Oh, the longing…the hunger…

Not to be confused with Mambo #5.

Gah…now it is stuck in my head. No one to blame but me…I brought that shit on myself.

Whereon I plead for an editor and J.P. and I flounder around trying to remember what we had just said.

So, we talk some more about hunger, gut instinct, low-hanging fruit, how I had patience modeled early in my intentional explorations into BDSM. J.P. talks about repping for THE PATRIARCHY (woot woot!) and how caution plays into his own measured pace.  Also chomped on are how  D/S and m/s can be challenging and also tough to navigate when you have the One True Way Thing in your face…or it has crept into your guts. How do we seek patterns, and how do we find ourselves irresistibly drawn to the seductive lure of narrative? Pattern lock and narrative addiction…and the risks of entitlement…so many delicious brain noms! Continue reading »

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