Adjusting the idle.

I have a hard time straight-up asking for advice. Partly because I am afraid of people doing that whole “I’m worried about you!” thing when I do. It seems often when I do say “Yeah, I’m struggling with this…can you help me?” a great deal of the time I get a response that pushes me…

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Not so goddamned fast….

There is little within the BDSM and Leather community circles that I take seriously serious, and that is not because I am irreverent about everything.   OK well maybe it is, a bit.   And maybe it is because fringe communities so often be takin’ so much so got-dammed seriously, I do not see that…

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No, really. I’m good.

I typically become profoundly uncomfortable when I cannot craft my thoughts or feelings into words. This becomes especially irritating when someone asks me how I am feeling, what I am thinking, and I am nonplussed and vacant, ready with neither quick quip nor reasoned, seasoned response. The capacity to think quickly and clearly is one…

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Right now.

I certainly do not submit explicitly for delicious gourmet chocolates.   However, if TheDominantGuy wants to give me a beautiful and delicious confection, I am not going to let that impede my service.   He purchased the pink leopard-print chocolate for Mrs. TheDominantGuy. Holy crap seriously, it is really good chocolate.   This week was…is…has…

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When it is simple.

I didn’t break down crying. There were no other witnesses. I felt no cosmic upheaval. It was the middle of the afternoon in the middle of the country and I was in the middle of his dining room, in the middle of errands. We had been taking, since the day before, about expectations. He had…

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Quiet.

I handed over my cell phone with a wry smile when @TheDominantGuy held out his hand for it. Wednesday morning’s drive from the airport saw me handing over my external brain. I tend to be a bit of a mess without it to let me know where I am supposed to be and what I…

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I want.

I want to be…   Pleasing   Well-behaved   and   obedient.   I want to be pliant, compliant.   The empty vessel.   I want to be everything all of the time. I want to be sure-footed, confident. I want to be…perfect.     Problem is…   …my demon says, chewing thoughtfully on her…

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No Wrong Answers.

It is important for me to “get it right” when I’m explaining myself. Interestingly, I do this very well with little effort so when I feel like I’m missing the mark I have an initial “nose out of joint” moment until I remember “If they aren’t getting you, re-direct. It will come.”     This…

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Because I forget sometimes? Thank you.

I am moved today to give thanks. Thank you to the people who support me, who have the bravery to be my friends. Thank you to the people who listen to me, and thank you to the people who offer their homes, their support, and their help. Thank you to the people who, by their…

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