The Perverted Negress

February 4, 2011

Quiet.

Filed under: musings,Personal.,Processing,Real-Honest-To-Ganesha-True-Shit.,TDG,The Dominant Guy — Mollena Williams @ 8:25 am

I handed over my cell phone with a wry smile when @TheDominantGuy held out his hand for it. Wednesday morning’s drive from the airport saw me handing over my external brain. I tend to be a bit of a mess without it to let me know where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to to.

Except now? Where I was supposed to be was in service to him and what I was supposed to do was focus on that. So.

This is the morning of my third day in service and my insides are unusually quiet. It is as though I’ve been living my life with a spiritual tinnitus and he somehow shuts down the ringing chattering buzz of the Default World and I get to simply…exist. Present.

There is so much for which I’ve no words, and there is a lot that is intensely personal and it is a new feeling to NOT want to yapper and spill everything all over the place.

This is mine and it is for him.

I can say with zero hyperbole that Nothing in my life has ever nourished me and smoothed my energy like spending time in this service.

I’m lying here in a moment of Work Mode, having a difficult time prioritizing it because I see now why it sometimes overwhelms me. It is because it is… secondary. Not unimportant. I have work to do. Some of it rather amazing, and I am grateful for it. But I want to resolve it quickly so I can get back to what matters.

Strangely & painfully enough, getting my phone & laptop back now feels more like a punishment than a reward. They’re shrieking distractions.

Focusing on my service, being fully present and connecting with @TheDominantGuy is…remarkable. I’m uncharacteristicaly low on verbiage.

And so I will leave it for now. I’ll go and plunge my hands into maya for a bit. Then I will clear myself for the good stuff. The quiet.

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